Return to Menu

You support this site when purchasing from our advertisers.
Scroll to see more products with < >.



Bookmark and Share
RSS 
 
 

 

In Spring 1998 this appeared in the Malamute Quarterly.
We had lots of fun with this one! 
Of course, it's all in jest...

The High Cost of Malamute Ownership*

(first year - all prices approximate for the Midwestern US in 1998 - note prices are MUCH highter these days!)

by Cindy O'Malley

  1998 2014

One Malamute quality dog or bitch from a reputable breeder

600

1,500

Doggy photo albumn, extra film (digital now...requires cheap camera but computer to look at & store pictures)

35

2,000

AKC registration and certified pedigree (for bragging)

33

52

Puppy vaccinations/rabies first year

250

350

Neuter/spay surgery to avoid OOPS! with neighbor's Rottie

75

600

Heartworm test and preventative (prevent now or hospitalize later - $500)

65

200

Fecal checks twice yearly

20

40

Fencing for the yard (small kennel to larger yard)

2,000

5,000

Reinforcement for fencing for yard (chickenwire, stakes, extensions)

50

200

Puppy kindergarten and obedience classes

125

450

Subscription to The Malamute Quarterly

44

50

Large den-like airline crate

140

210

Designer down-filled doggie bed for crate

45

175

Cheaper replacement doggie bed for crate when chewed up

25

50

Replace with old towel or rug when chewed again

2

7

Toys (truckload ofNylabones, Booda bones, kongs, balls, squeekies and stuffed animals to "kill" and gut)

75

750

Vet bill for surgery to remove balls, squeekies and stuffed animal parts

500

1,200

Training treats to motivate, "Mister, you want ME? to come??"

50

200

BitterApple, rawhides, chew hooves, pig ears (to save $5,000 on furniture and woodwork)

60

100

Repair chair, leg anyway

15

50

Doggy door (in out, in out, in out)

45

175

Baby gates (good until junior learns to jump)

35

125

Leash, collar, dishes, grooming brushes, nail clippers, pooper scooper

80

250

Coat grooming (home versus professional)

0-500

0-1,500

Dog license - save $3 if neutered

10

25

If you let him roam, include $$$ for livestock replacement, fines, angry neighbors and pound fees

250

500

Lawyer's consultation fee

75

250

Bath supplies - dog shampoo, Skunk-Off, dog towels

15

100

New high velocity dryer and elevated tub

225

850

Phone calls to breeder about "that Damn Dog" (no long distance anymore)

156

0

Miscellaneous emergency vet care (dog fights, broken teeth)

240

1,500

Emergency vet care for neighbor's Shih Tzu that challenged your Mal

275

550

Ask for a frequent visitor discount from vet

(-25)

hahaha

Cataract surgery, hip replacement, sweater to cover his coat funk if necessary

5,000

10,000

Food (if you buy cheap food, get a bigger pooper scooper)

750

1,200

Dog house and bedding (he's become so annoying in the house)

100

750

Boarding kennel for vacations

IO/day

I2/day

Missing pies, roasts, brownies, chicken off countertop (The most vigilant among us has been outsmarted by a Malamute)

235

435

Child-proof locks for cupboards and refrigerator

5

20

Replace chewed pants with the doggie treats left in the pocket

60

120

Harnesses, sled, all-terrain vehicle to pull (couch potato or future Iditarod lead dog?)

0-2,500

0-8,000

Flea sprays/powders/collars, tick spray, Program for fleas

60

100

Commercial vacumn cleaner and bags

600

650

Bottle of Anti-shed

7

20

Gallons of Windex (for noseprints on glass)

50

100

Carpet cleaning (muddy paws on the new white Berber Stainmaster)

650

1,200

Give up and put down hardwood floor

2,000

6,000

Replace holes in lawn, dug up flowers, defoliated trees

195

400

Loss of entire summer's garden vegetables

50

100

Replace Barbie heads, X-rnen toys, rare discontinued Beanie Babies, etc,

125

200

Psychological counseling (owner) for unknown animal body part deposited on your lap as a present

75/hr

150/hr

Assorted Malamute refrigerator magnets, knickknacks, collectibles

275

500

SECOND MALAMUTE ... show quality this time ...

1,200

10,000

Large van or sport utility vehicle that can transport TWO big dogs

30,000

50,000

 
   

*Disclaimer: For those drollery-impaired, this is humor.

   

This article was scanned and converted to text for faster loading...

 

.
.
.
.
.
.